The Good, The Bad and the Ugly

The sound track of the wild west movie. 

Lighter Side

Q.Why do couples hold hands during weddings?

A.It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.

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Pulis:Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?

Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko.Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers, i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.

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WFhat is the most impressive example of Tolerance?

Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!

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Applicants: 2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo

Matalino:Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?

Bobo:Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.

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Teacher:Write Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing

Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.

Student wrote:"My God! I'm pregnant.I wonder who the father is?"

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Sensitive Child on his 1st day in school...

Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya. Matatakot na 'yan!

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Love and Marriage Cycle

1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato

3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato

5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato

8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato

That is what we call PLATOnic love!

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Man: I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in 6 months.

Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to

find!

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Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?

A - almost gone

B - barelly noticeable

C - comfortable

D - damn good

E - exremely big and

F - Fake

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Learning French

City - ce vou

Drug - sha vou

Good bye - va vou

Bald - cal vou

Caught in the act - navo cou

Feathers - valahi vou

Not clear - mala vou

Cute - a cou

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Chalk

Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis.

Gamitin mo sa pader.

Maid : Opo, ati.

Next day ...Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...

"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"

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KATAPUSAN

Lumindol ng malakas noon ...Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.Sumigaw ang isang lalake."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"

Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..

"Tanga, a kinse pa lang."

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Pangarap

"Ate baby, pangarap kong maging mananahi," sabi ng bata sa kapitbahay.

"Bakit naman?" tanong ng mama ko.

"Para hindi na ako magsuot ng sirang damit" sagot ng 7-taong gulang na batang si Yankee

Muntik na akong maiyak sa usapang ito. Habang natawa naman si mama.

Una, dahil naramdaman kong may respeto ang 7-taong bata sa hanapbuhay ng nanay ko. Pangalawa, dahil sa mura niyang edad, kung saan ang karamihang bata ay puro laro lang ang iniisip at nagtatampo pa kapag hindi nasunod ang gusto, ay nangarap na solusyonan ang sira nyang damit. Pangatlo, dahil alam nyang sabihin kung ano ba talaga ang gusto at pangarap nya sa ngayon, mababaw man o hindi.

Gaya ng bawat isa, naangangarap ako ng 'world peace' dahil pag masaya at may hustisya para sa lahat, sino pa namang baboy ang sasalaula nito.

Nangarap ako ng katapatan. Kumplikado naman. Mahirap pagsamahin ang katotohanan at pagpoprotekta sa nararamdaman. Kahit pa madalas na katwiran eh kailangang protektahan ang isang musmos na huwag masaktan kaya napagsisinungalingan. Mahirap mang tanggapin para sa akin na kailangan kong makisama lagi sa bata, kailangan dahil iyon lang daw ang paraan para maipakita mong may pagmamahal ka.

Masyadong mataas ang mga pangarap ko, alam ko.

Kaya habang pilit kong inaabot yun, kagaano man kalayo, kataas o kahirap, hindi ako susuko. Hindi ko man makuha lahat ang gusto at pangarap ko, kuntento akong alam kong makakatulog ako ng walang pag-aalala kung hindi ko man makukuha ang gusto ko. Dahil laging may panibagong bukas kung saan pwedeng gawin ang dapat na gawain.

Na-inspire ako kay Yankee. Ngayon, kinailangan kong ayusin ang mga sira. Kahit man lang sarili kong damit. Kahit na alam ko na kapag natuto sya mawawalan ng kita si mama.

Masarap mang isipin na pagsamantahalan ang mga taong hindi kayang ayusin ang sarili nilang damit, at nangangailangan ng iba para gumawa noon. Ang pakiramdam na nagawa mo yung gawin kahit na pwede namang ipagawa sa iba ay mas makabuluhan para sa akin.

Ikaw, para kanino ko bumabangon? (Alam ko walang koneksyon, wala talaga para sa iyo)

Head Start

Two weeks ago I read from the wall of a friend about cyber bullying. Well, I know being a Taurean I can be a bull and head strong. And it happened a lot of times. Those matadors were teasing me to fight back. And when I do, I do till my last "breath". Haaaaaaaaaay....

Going back to cyber bullying, I asked what it is all about. The reply I got is the rampant suicide among HS students in US due to bullying. Well, it is more than me being a bully in my younger years.It is about the lesson I learned to value life and living in general as I grow older. I gained that ability to bully being a Sunday school teacher in my secondary school. The feeling of making the kids do things without reason at all is empowering. Questions like “I thought there’s only Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, where did his wife and those people observing them come from?” would be answered with “because it is written in the book, it is true and you should not question that.” And I get away with it because I am a teacher and made them have faith in me at an early age. I have nothing against teacher because I am one by profession.

But reason tells me I should do something about it. I feel for them. The way I feel when I watch a movie or tv series depicting the struggles of the adolescents in this modern age. Despite of what we have: gadgets, e- books, internet, social networking, a lot of youngsters are still bored of their lives. Their quest for attention is so alarming it makes me wonder if they are getting that from the primary source: home. Or maybe they are over getting it to the point of doing things simply because they can, no matter what the consequence.

I cannot answer as a parent. And I’m not limiting myself simplyfor being not. I can only guide them to be inspired by being inspired myself about life. Like what I am always saying, I most value my life here and the way I am living, more than preparing myself for after life. For those who are bullying me to do this and that so that I can have after life simply to have control of what I think, I should do and I should choose, I say, I’ve already outgrown that. I learned that in high school and now I am on to something down to earth.

Hear the man with no arms and legs being thankful for what he has. He tries to find meaning to his life without professing about promises such as resurrection and after life being born of a virgin and miracles. But really giving hope to those who are losing the strength in character to just even stand up. Learn from his struggles and how he rose above the mediocrity of the bullies and bullying.

“"It's a lie to think that you are not good enough. It's a lie to think that you are not worth