Sunday, January 29, 2012

Lighter Side

Q.Why do couples hold hands during weddings?
A.It is just a formality. Like "2 boxers", they shake hands before the fight begins.

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Pulis:Bakit mo inihagis ang bata sa bintana?
Yaya: Sinunod ko lang po ang utos ng amo ko.Sabi po ng amo ko, 'wala na tayong Pampers, i- Huggies mo na lang si baby.

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WFhat is the most impressive example of Tolerance?
Ah! Golden Wedding Anniversary!

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Applicants: 2 girls nag-aaply ng work. 1 matalino, 1 bobo
Matalino:Buti ka pa natanggap. Ano ba ginawa mo?
Bobo:Wala. Nung nag-fill up me ng form, nilagay ko sa Sex, sure.

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Teacher:Write Teacher: Write a short story in a few words discussing
Religion, Sexuality and Mystery.
Student wrote:"My God! I'm pregnant.I wonder who the father is?"

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Sensitive Child on his 1st day in school...
Mom to teacher - Very sensitive po ang anak ko. Kung kailangan nyo po parusahan, sampalin nyo na lang po ang katabi nya. Matatakot na 'yan!

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Love and Marriage Cycle
1-2 yrs : magkasalo sa plato
3-5 yrs : tig-isang plato
5-7 yrs : nagbabatuhan na ng plato
8-10 yrs : wala na silang plato
That is what we call PLATOnic love!

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Man: I want to divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in 6 months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are very hard to
find!

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Do you know why bra makers measure cup size by "A B C D E F "?
A - almost gone
B - barelly noticeable
C - comfortable
D - damn good
E - exremely big and
F - Fake

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Learning French

City - ce vou
Drug - sha vou
Good bye - va vou
Bald - cal vou
Caught in the act - navo cou
Feathers - valahi vou
Not clear - mala vou
Cute - a cou

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Chalk

Amo : 'Day, ang chalk na ito para mamatay ang ipis.
Gamitin mo sa pader.
Maid : Opo, ati.
Next day ...Nagulat ang amo, nakasulat sa pader...
"Epes mamatay kayong lahat!"

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KATAPUSAN
Lumindol ng malakas noon ...Nagkagulo and lahat at nag-panic.Sumigaw ang isang lalake."Katapusan na! Katapusan na!"
Sumagot ang isa pang lalake..
"Tanga, a kinse pa lang."

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