Happy Valentines

It feels overwhelming.

Pangarap

"Ate baby, pangarap kong maging mananahi," sabi ng bata sa kapitbahay.

"Bakit naman?" tanong ng mama ko.

"Para hindi na ako magsuot ng sirang damit" sagot ng 7-taong gulang na batang si Yankee

Muntik na akong maiyak sa usapang ito. Habang natawa naman si mama.

Una, dahil naramdaman kong may respeto ang 7-taong bata sa hanapbuhay ng nanay ko. Pangalawa, dahil sa mura niyang edad, kung saan ang karamihang bata ay puro laro lang ang iniisip at nagtatampo pa kapag hindi nasunod ang gusto, ay nangarap na solusyonan ang sira nyang damit. Pangatlo, dahil alam nyang sabihin kung ano ba talaga ang gusto at pangarap nya sa ngayon, mababaw man o hindi.

Gaya ng bawat isa, naangangarap ako ng 'world peace' dahil pag masaya at may hustisya para sa lahat, sino pa namang baboy ang sasalaula nito.

Nangarap ako ng katapatan. Kumplikado naman. Mahirap pagsamahin ang katotohanan at pagpoprotekta sa nararamdaman. Kahit pa madalas na katwiran eh kailangang protektahan ang isang musmos na huwag masaktan kaya napagsisinungalingan. Mahirap mang tanggapin para sa akin na kailangan kong makisama lagi sa bata, kailangan dahil iyon lang daw ang paraan para maipakita mong may pagmamahal ka.

Masyadong mataas ang mga pangarap ko, alam ko.

Kaya habang pilit kong inaabot yun, kagaano man kalayo, kataas o kahirap, hindi ako susuko. Hindi ko man makuha lahat ang gusto at pangarap ko, kuntento akong alam kong makakatulog ako ng walang pag-aalala kung hindi ko man makukuha ang gusto ko. Dahil laging may panibagong bukas kung saan pwedeng gawin ang dapat na gawain.

Na-inspire ako kay Yankee. Ngayon, kinailangan kong ayusin ang mga sira. Kahit man lang sarili kong damit. Kahit na alam ko na kapag natuto sya mawawalan ng kita si mama.

Masarap mang isipin na pagsamantahalan ang mga taong hindi kayang ayusin ang sarili nilang damit, at nangangailangan ng iba para gumawa noon. Ang pakiramdam na nagawa mo yung gawin kahit na pwede namang ipagawa sa iba ay mas makabuluhan para sa akin.

Ikaw, para kanino ko bumabangon? (Alam ko walang koneksyon, wala talaga para sa iyo)

Head Start

Two weeks ago I read from the wall of a friend about cyber bullying. Well, I know being a Taurean I can be a bull and head strong. And it happened a lot of times. Those matadors were teasing me to fight back. And when I do, I do till my last "breath". Haaaaaaaaaay....

Going back to cyber bullying, I asked what it is all about. The reply I got is the rampant suicide among HS students in US due to bullying. Well, it is more than me being a bully in my younger years.It is about the lesson I learned to value life and living in general as I grow older. I gained that ability to bully being a Sunday school teacher in my secondary school. The feeling of making the kids do things without reason at all is empowering. Questions like “I thought there’s only Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, where did his wife and those people observing them come from?” would be answered with “because it is written in the book, it is true and you should not question that.” And I get away with it because I am a teacher and made them have faith in me at an early age. I have nothing against teacher because I am one by profession.

But reason tells me I should do something about it. I feel for them. The way I feel when I watch a movie or tv series depicting the struggles of the adolescents in this modern age. Despite of what we have: gadgets, e- books, internet, social networking, a lot of youngsters are still bored of their lives. Their quest for attention is so alarming it makes me wonder if they are getting that from the primary source: home. Or maybe they are over getting it to the point of doing things simply because they can, no matter what the consequence.

I cannot answer as a parent. And I’m not limiting myself simplyfor being not. I can only guide them to be inspired by being inspired myself about life. Like what I am always saying, I most value my life here and the way I am living, more than preparing myself for after life. For those who are bullying me to do this and that so that I can have after life simply to have control of what I think, I should do and I should choose, I say, I’ve already outgrown that. I learned that in high school and now I am on to something down to earth.

Hear the man with no arms and legs being thankful for what he has. He tries to find meaning to his life without professing about promises such as resurrection and after life being born of a virgin and miracles. But really giving hope to those who are losing the strength in character to just even stand up. Learn from his struggles and how he rose above the mediocrity of the bullies and bullying.

“"It's a lie to think that you are not good enough. It's a lie to think that you are not worth

Greener Pasture

Yahoo mail and Gmail has a new banner as I saw it yesterday. They are no longer seeking for greener pasture. They are green. I like it because it reminds me to be cognizant of the environment and pay attention to it. To see something bigger than ourselves and do something about it. This way, our myopic view of the pettyness of human inadequacy and the imperfection of others somehow be diverted into something productive.


April is autism awareness month (It's enticing to think of a connection to someone I know but I'd rather not to). It is an abnormality that is prevalent nowadays. It affects not only the poor and the common but also the rich and the famous. There are theories that environment plays a significant contribution to the mutation of the child's genetic composition and development. Climate change, industrial by-products, technological side effects contribute to the environment's level of radioactivity and deterioration that affects the biological composition of every one. X-men and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are fictional characters delving with mutation. It's a sad thing that children victimized by this genetic maladaptation will no longer enjoy these fictions. Unless they would like to be a part of this fictional world and be, or better yet, instead of being subjected to the judgements of narrow minded, cold blooded-perfectionist lost in self admiration.


Where do I go from here? What can I do to protect the environment?
1. I pledge to use vacuum cleaner once a month. I'm hitting two birds in one stone: Lessen, even in a minimum, the amount of CFC contributed to the green house effect and exercise by sweeping the floor.
2. Recycle and reuse. I used the empty bottle of mineral water and put back into the box to produce a dresser and table.
3. Use my time in researching (thanks internet) to think of ways and exercise my creativity.
4. Create a forum and awareness to let others know that there are more noble activities than high-lighting the inadequacy of others.